A teaching moment, non-typical ways a submissive can serve their Dominant.

Image credit: Peaky Blinders TV Series

There are two old guard principles that were introduced to me as solid pillars of D/s relationships a long time ago that I really haven’t seen much recently.

- The standard by which a Dominant’s worth will be judged is by the service they receive from their submissive, the obedience they receive from their submissive and the general conduct of their submissive.

-The submissive serves, the Dominant leads and guides, both tend to the relationship. That’s the way all three grow.

A repeat theme here is service of the submissive. At this point it makes sense to review some super basic info. A “submissive” implies the person is a submissive in a relationship. Meaning they are lead and guided in life by their Dominant. If a person likes to be controlled in the bedroom and serve or be of use then that person is a bottom in the relationship also known as a bedroom submissive. There is nothing wrong with that. Now “submissive” in the context of this piece refers to relationship submissives. It can also apply to owned objects, slaves or any bottom in a total power exchange dynamic.

Now onto the meat of it…..

If one thinks of worship in the D/s context two things normally come to mind. Physical worship; sucking, licking, paying physical tribute, taking instruction, touching the Dominant and the offering up of the submissive themselves in whatever way pleases the Dominant. The other is ritualistic worship; kneeling, putting oneself on display, taking proper positions, wearing one’s collar, shackles, anklets, being patient sitting with hands open, sitting knees apart in your Dominant’s presence, waiting to be instructed on what to do or completing assigned tasks.

Some lesser forms of “glorified” service are….

-Adhering to proper protocols.

-Carrying yourself the way your Dominant wants you to carry yourself in their presence.

-Carrying yourself the way your Dominant wants you to when not in their presence.

-Presenting yourself in a manner that pleases your Dominant aesthetically.

-Following proper etiquette, after all the submissive is a extension of their Dominant.

-Take care of your body and mind, you’re looking after their property by doing so.

-Defer, defer, defer to your Dominant.

-ALWAYS be truthful with your Dominant especially if it’s hard.

-Be attentive to your Dominant’s wants, needs, words and actions.

-Show gratitude often, not only in play.

-Ask if you can be of service to them.

-Rededicate yourself to them, reinforce your commitment.

-Create a environment of peace and warmth.

-Ask to serve them a drink or prepare something for them whenever in private domestic situations or public domestic situations.

-Engage in domestic service; cook, clean organize.

-ALWAYS when talking to your Dominant in private conversation use proper pronouns; Daddy, Sir, Master, Mister, Etc.

-Defer, defer, defer to your Dominant.

-Discuss service rituals. How would you like our playroom organized before play or the table organized before the meal; then stick to it.

-Make things for your Dominant, this could be as simple as making a meal.

-Be your Dominant’s outlet for conversation in all things kink and all things in their life.

-Learn your Dominant in a lifestyle and vanilla sense.

-Put your devotion to your Dominant on display privately and publically.

-Submit to him completely, body and mind.

-Defer, defer, defer to your Dominant.

-Make your Dominant’s life easier.

-View your service as a whole as a privilege.