A set of holes, Random Thoughts Series 2 of 12

Image credits; The Scissor Sisters, Invisible Light, Video Still

I recently saw a tumblr post that caused me to pick up a piece of myself and look at it. The post was a standard degrader Dominant image where the girl on her knees had cum/cock smeared on her face and the wording read-

Always Remember…

You are not worthy of respect

You are a worthless cunt

You are brainless

You are just a set of holes

Degradation play I thoroughly enjoy it, I have a need for it. It’s intimate (if done right) and psychological, sadistic. But it is an interesting thing for me to process. Because the “I want to feel like shit because I’m a bad girl that needs to be put in her place” has zero appeal to me. I’m also not into the “I’m going to make you feel like shit” play because it makes me feel superior. What I am into is observing. Oh look I see what’s happening over there in your head again, “I’m a worthless piece of shit a fucking dummy.” I see what you’re doing to yourself. Come here. If you’re going to let that in then I’m going to force it in your face, down your throat and into your brain. Because that “IS” a need for me, to drive you to confront your turbulent corners. So why was that wording so interesting to me? It’s not because I need to say it or because I need her to hear it from me. It’s interesting because I need her to have believed it, once or all her life. I need my cruelty to bring her “back” to her lowest point because in her mind by nature or nurture she already brings herself to that lowest point. No matter the details as to why she isn’t good enough, worthless or disposable; she is comfortable with that idea. She needs to be there and to break out of it she needs to confront it. Naturally when I bring it all to the surface and hold those details up to her face and bring all her dark little memories and thoughts out into the light our experience will initially make her feel like shit. She will be shamed and ridiculed by me and by herself simultaneously. But that for me is the point. That is the “why,” because when we find what rock bottom is and scrape at it we can build up from there. I want to echo the pain in her life. I want to echo the hurt that was thrown at her and the hurt she threw at herself. So I can build upward from it. Do I enjoy when she confronts her pain? Yes, after all I am a sadist and enjoy watching her soak in the suffering. But more so I’m a Dominant Daddy that wants to pull her up, that wants the best for her so I want her to be stronger and much more solid afterward. The Marquis de Sade said it’s by way of pain one arrives at pleasure. So the way I give pain when I desire and as is needed to strengthen pleasure shouldn’t I also give cruel degradation when I desire and as is needed to strengthen warm affection.